Updated: Sep 3
August 24th 2023
As I sat in meditation in my room next to the open window, I heard and observed the squirrels in the trees playfully chasing one another all around the tree trunk and jumping from branch to branch, making joyful and gleeful sounds as though they were children playing tag. It was such a gift to witness and there was a message for me, reminding me of how far I’ve come in my own ability to allow myself to feel joy, pleasure, bliss and to simply play! I have spent most of my life in a constant state of fear, anxiety, sadness and seriousness. My limbic system, my mind and my body did not feel safe to allow in or feel the good feelings but I also didn't feel I could fully feel the harder feelings either, so I stayed quite stuck emotionally and this built up over time in my energy field and body causing a lot of dis-ease.
Early on in life, I learned through various relational traumas that I wasn’t safe to be in joy or to be silly, cheeky or playful. So, I learned to shut that down and hide as much as I could…. I hid my light. I had misinterpreted that my light and my true authentic expression is what caused the trauma when in fact it was not, but instead it was the wounding of the other people around me that created discomfort in them when I expressed my sparkly and authentic self. This then led them to behave in ways to get me to shut it down and behave differently, so that they could be comfortable.
As children, this is what we do because we believe our survival depends on it and often it does. Being part of the “tribe” is important for our survival and anything that threatens this is perceived as a threat to our very existence. Shutting parts of ourselves down is a coping mechanism that keeps us safe for a while…but it comes at a cost to our enjoyment of life, our health, our relationships and so much more.
If we cannot feel safe expressing ourselves authentically, we will experience severe energetic blockages and congestion within our energy fields and bodies. This will lead to ill health. Anytime we are living out of alignment with who we really are it can and will make us sick. Our body attempts to give us a message to bring us back into healthy alignment and purpose and if we aren’t listening, the messages will get louder and louder. Illness truly is one way our bodies provide us with the wisdom we need, if we take the opportunity to listen.
Yes, we do still need to nourish and support our bodies in dealing with the barrage of toxins we are exposed to every day and do physical things to come back into or maintain health but the most important thing we can give our bodies is our presence. Healing from trauma requires that we re-learn how to be in healthy relationship with the whole of us - mind, body, emotions and soul. Realigning ourselves to peace, joy, love, and the bliss we truly are, requires that we be present with what is blocking these in the first place and bring love to those parts of us.
I personally had to reprogram my whole being in feeling safe in allowing more of the good feelings. I did this in a few different ways - by reprogramming my limiting beliefs (subconscious mind) using the Thetahealing technique, and fully feeling any feelings that came up in my body as I sat with the beliefs I worked on, and really bringing love to those wounded younger versions of me where these beliefs started. I also got help from other healers to support me through healing trauma, including various kinds of energy work and emotional clearing. Taking herbs and being in Nature and regularly grounding myself was very important too. All of the Elements and the beings in Nature (plants and animals) are just being their authentic selves moment to moment, never wondering if it's safe to be their true expression. So we can certainly be inspired by and learn from Nature when we take the time to be present to what is possible. I also shifted these fear-based programs by taking a vibrational water medicine that holds a particular frequency that targets the limbic system to clear the fear of being in joy. This was life changing! This change happened over a few months so it wasn’t instant, and I had to commit every day to working on it because I knew my life depended on me allowing in more love and light!
I experienced health issues this winter that were life threatening and/or could have put me in a wheelchair. In those terrifying moments when I could feel my whole body rapidly breaking down, hours of convulsion-like full body spasms, as well as my legs going numb and getting weaker, I knew I needed to choose to REALLY LIVE THIS LIFE I’ve been gifted with. I knew I needed to step back in the driver’s seat of my life and really enjoy the ride! It was the only way I would heal from these three severe autoimmune conditions that were demyelinating my spine and brain, breaking down my connective tissues and severely impacting the function of several organs and glands.
I had to do other things to heal too, but I’ll share that some other time because today I want to focus on what message the squirrels provided me with this morning, which was the reminder of what was truly the biggest personal shift I experienced in 2023, and what was likely one of the most important things I needed to change in order to heal. And I will continue to work on expanding what juiciness and goodness I allow in because I know there is always more growth and healing available.
As I watched the squirrels, I could feel the deeply playful energy between them…in those moments they were completely present with each other in this sacred play. It was how they expressed their love to each other, their authentic sparkly light. I soaked in the beauty of this moment because these playful and joyful times we share with others are the moments that make life worth living. These are the types of moments that make us feel alive. I sat in deep gratitude that I can finally feel more alive and that I can now feel more safe to allow the good feelings to permeate my being day to day rather than let fear run the show! I can finally feel FREE to embody the type of mindful play these squirrels enjoyed on this beautiful sunny morning.
It is not our fault what happened to us that caused trauma but it is our responsibility to heal it and we can do some of this work on our own (self-healing and self-care is absolutely necessary) but we also do need the help, guidance and mentoring from others because when we are wounded in relationship we must heal in relationship too. I feel so blessed to be in a position in my healing practice to help others work on healing their traumas, loving their inner child, reclaiming their hipower, and step into embodying their authentic and joyful nature by supporting them in clearing out what is getting in the way and providing a roadmap for creating a new reality! I feel that it is a purpose of mine to help others get back into the driver’s seat of their own life and step into living their juiciest life with as much joy, pleasure, love, bliss and play as possible! <3
I hope you can also be inspired by the squirrels and allow in a little more playfulness and light into your day to day life.
Melissa Crawford - Another Way To Heal